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Preschool Choice Time

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For parents of two-and-a-half year olds, ’tis the season to think about preschool. (I know, preschool won’t start till September, and it’s CRAZY that you have to research and make decisions on preschools  when you can’t begin to imagine how different your child will be 8 months from now…)

January and February are the season for preschool fairs, preschool open houses and tours. Many schools have application deadlines coming up soon and will encourage you to apply as soon as possible to ensure that there’s space for your child. It’s easy for parents to feel a lot of anxiety and pressure in this environment. It is true that the sooner you decide, the more options you’ll have. And it is true that SOME schools will fill up soon, and if you don’t apply now, you’ll miss your chance. But the honest truth is that there are a ton of great preschools that not only won’t fill up in February, they’ll still have some space available when September rolls around! So, don’t panic about making the choice now if you’re not ready.

One great way to find out about your options is to go to a preschool fair. They’re free, open to the public, and offer parents the chance to walk around, pick up flyers, read posters, and talk to representatives of many different preschools. If you’re on the Eastside of Seattle, we have two big fairs:

– The parent education department at  Lake Washington Institute of Technology offers a fair in January. Details about the 2016 event are here: http://www.woodinvilletoddlergroup.com/preschool-night-2016/

– Parent Map holds a series of preschool previews in January each year. The info about 2016 events is here: https://www.parentmap.com/article/preschool-previews

When parents ask me “what’s the best preschool?” I emphasize that there is no one right answer to that question. A preschool program can range anywhere between 2 hours a day for two days a week to 8 hours a day for five days a week. The cost can range hugely. The way students spend their time, how skills are taught, and facilities range widely. Here are the steps I recommend to help you figure out what’s the best preschool for you.

First decide: Is preschool necessary? Is it something you want for your child?

If you decide you’re looking, the first thing to think about is your concrete needs and goals for preschool.  This includes both logistics (location, schedule, cost) and also thinking about what you hope your child will learn at preschool that they can’t learn from you at home or from the other activities they do.

Then, research your options. Go to preschool fairs, do web searches, but also talk to friends, co-workers, and other parents on the playground. You’ll often learn about fabulous low-cost options by asking around.

Then visit, or attend an open house, and ask these questions to learn more.

Then make the decision that feels right for you! Don’t base it on other people’s opinions but go with your own best judgment.

Here are a few related articles and resources that might interest you:

  • Coop preschools can be the best option for parents who are looking for a few hours a week of preschool (they won’t work for any family that needs full time daycare). They offer a developmentally-appropriate, play-based experience that’s a great learning opportunity for your child and for you, at a low cost
  • Outdoor preschools are a play-based, nature focused option
  • Academic preschools – why they may not be developmentally appropriate or necessary for long-term academic success
  • Benefits of multi-age classrooms
  • Essential skills – these are skills all children need to learn by age 5, whether they learn them at preschool or at home
  • PEPS is hosting a presentation on Choosing the Right Preschool on January 21 in Bellevue and January 28 in Seattle. Learn more: http://www.peps.org/ParentResources/lectures/choosing-preschool

Note on ages: preschool is generally for children age 3 – 5. (So, for fall 2016, that means kids born between September 1, 2011 and August 31, 2013.) There are programs for two year olds called “preschool” because many parents will pay more for something if it’s called preschool than if it’s called playgroup or day care… but really kids under 3 are operating at a different developmental level than a truly preschool age child, and would be better served by an age appropriate, play-based program.

Creative Development Lab

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I am excited that this year my son has the chance to participate in the Creative Development Lab offered by Bellevue College Parent Education. It’s a weekly arts enrichment program for ages 3 – 5. Kids attend every week. Parents work in the classroom 6 times a year and also attend a monthly parent education session.

Check out the video at the top of this post to see all the great activities we did in ONE DAY this fall.(If you want to try out any of the arts activities with your child at home, you can learn how on our Pinterest page: www.pinterest.com/bcparented/)

And there were even more great activities at CDL that day that the video doesn’t show!

  • The kids made their own applesauce by squashing up a baked apple with a potato masher and sprinkling on cinnamon sugar.
  • There was a free collage station, where they could gather their own cool materials from lots of baskets of goodies and glue them together any way they wanted to.
  • There were blocks, and puzzles, and books in the center room. They also do imaginative play and circle time.
  • At the end of class, they go outside for riding trikes, pulling wagons, bouncing balls, and playing in the sandbox.
  • This was also parent education day, so the parents were in the other room discussing temperament with our parent educator.

I’m loving this program!

Some parents choose it because their child is an art-focused kid who just can’t get enough of the art projects they do at home. I actually choose it because I have a really outdoorsy, active boy. At home he has a hard time settling in to art projects, and I also don’t offer them as much as I should because… well, no good reason really…. I just don’t always think of it. So I love having this dedicated time in his week for him to explore art and the joy of creating things.

Why “More Good Days”

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Why More Good Days? Because it’s a theme that weaves throughout my teaching in various ways:

  • When working with pregnant people and discussing nutrition, exercise, and so on, I say “I’m going to tell you all the ideas I know of for increasing your chances of a healthy pregnancy and birth, but I’m not telling you that you have to do every one of these things every day! I’m giving ideas, and you’ll do as many of them as you can make work in your life. And some days you’ll eat perfectly, and other days you’ll grab beef jerky and raisins at the convenience store because that’s the only way you can get “lunch” that day. It’s OK. Babies are resilient – they won’t suffer for a few bad days here and there. We just shoot for more good days than bad… the more healthy choices the better.”
  • When teaching breastfeeding, if people raise concerns about not “succeeding” at breastfeeding, I say “I’m going to give you all the ideas I can to help increase your chance of reaching your goals, and I’m going to give you lots of resources for where you can go for help, and you’re going to do the best you can. Hopefully you reach or exceed your goals for how long you nurse baby. But sometimes life happens, and breastfeeding doesn’t turn out as someone had hoped. I want you to remember that even a few days of breastmilk has health benefits for baby, and the more days of breastfeeding they get, the better for them and for you. So focus on those good days and how much good you did for baby on those days.”
  • When teaching parents caring for children of any age, I say “You’re not going to be a perfect parents. None of us are. There will be days (or at least moments each day) when you feel like a fabulous parent – like you’re really succeeding at this whole parenting gig! And there will be days when you’re a crappy parent. Days when you find yourself saying or doing something that you never thought you’d say or do. Days when you just really feel like you screwed up. When you have those days – or those moments each and every day – keep moving on. Seek out advice and new ideas on how to do better, seek out support for yourself on this path, and learn about what resources there are for you and your child. You’ll continue trying to do the best you can every day, and you hope that in the long run, when you look back, you’ll say that there have been more good days than bad.”
  • When working with parents of teenagers who have been battling their kids, I say “how do you hold limits firmly yet compassionately? Yesterday, you tell me you were yelling at your kid… can you go back to them and say “I’m sorry I yelled – that was not appropriate. However, your behavior was a problem and you do need to do better. How can we work together to improve things?”

So, really “more good days” is about finding a balance. Doing the best you can. Finding more information, support and resources to help you do better. And forgiving yourself for the bad days.

I also think that part of what determines whether something is a ‘good day’ or a ‘bad day’ is our attitude. Some days feel like there’s problem after problem, and every little thing pushes us closer to the edge, and we find ourselves saying “what a crappy day! Why does this keep happening? I hate my life!!” Other days, everything feels easy and fine, and all those little annoyances slide right off.

Here is a blog entry from the day in 2013 when I named this blog:

Yesterday morning with my three year old, I was relaxed and mellow and all was fine with the world, and then… he pooped in the bathtub. But, it was OK. I cleaned him up, I cleaned up the bathtub, and then he pooped in the potty, which is always worthy of celebration. It was all fine – it was a good day.
But then yesterday afternoon, it was so hot in the house that he couldn’t go down for his nap in his room upstairs. So, he’s “napping” on the couch. But he’s not. And I’m trying to work. But I’m not. And he’s making a mess with all his toys, and I’m asking him to clean it up. And he’s not. And I should be calm and reasonable in asking him to clean it up and go back to his couch. But I’m not. And now, it is a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.
And really, the difference between morning and afternoon was all about my attitude. But even knowing that, it’s hard to shift out of it in the moment.
But, we did shift out of it – we had a fabulous evening in the splash park and watching outdoor Shakespeare with the whole family.
And it was so joyful for me to watch my three year old in the water, trying out all his new skills from swimming class and laughing and playing with all the other toddlers. And it was so joyful for me to watch my 20 year old – my theater major son – enjoying the show – laughing at some beautiful moments of physical comedy.
In the end, it was a very good day.

Every day, parents have experiences like these. The good moments, the bad moments. Parenting can definitely be “all joy, and no fun.” In the hard moments, we wonder why we put ourselves through it. And then in the joyful moments, we realize that there’s really nothing better than watching a child learn and grow.
And every day, I work to find the same balance I encourage in my students. Doing the best I can. Finding more information, support and resources to help me do better. Forgiving myself for the bad days. And hoping that in the long run, there are more good days than bad.

Cheap Dates with Toddlers: Nature’s Playgrounds

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stumps

Peter Kirk Park, Kirkland, WA. Click to enlarge photos

Sometimes, parks have to take out trees – they’re old, they’re damaged by insects or lightning or whatever. That’s always sad. But, when you’re really lucky, the park does this! At Peter Kirk Park in downtown Kirkland, when they took out a tree (or cluster of trees?) recently, they left the stumps behind, in a perfect toddler and kid playground adventure!

My three year old loves playing on these, but so do kids of all ages. Unlike modern playgrounds, they’re not standardized sizes and shapes, with the exact measured distance between objects and a scientifically designed surface beneath. They’re just four stumps, of different heights that you can climb up, perch on, jump off. Fabulous!

If you live in the area, come check them out (but be sure to park on the street or at the library – the shopping center says they’ll tow park users). If you’re not local look for similar lucky finds in your neighborhood!

We also found a great set of stumps at Bridle Trails Park in Bellevue, next to the arena.

Bridle Trails State Park, Bellevue, WA

Bridle Trails State Park, Bellevue, WA

To learn more about kids and nature, just click on ‘nature activities’ in the right hand side bar.

 

Cheap Dates: Swimming!

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Peter Kirk, Bellevue, Renton pools

Peter Kirk, Bellevue, Renton pools

Although baby swim lessons are really fun, you don’t need them to have fun with your baby in the water. (You just need to keep a tight hold on baby all the time, or even if they’re sitting in a shallow pool, you should be in arms reach at all times.)

Here are some great games to play in the water with your child and some recommended local pools (for my readers who live on the Eastside of Seattle).

Some games to play in the water:

Motor boat: In a shallow pool, you can have your child sit on the bottom of the pool and kick their legs up and down. In a deeper pool, you can hold your child, or have them put their back to the wall and hang on with their hands, then kick their legs. As they kick, chant:”Motor boat, motor boat, go so slow. Motor boat, motor boat, go so fast. Motor boat, motor boat, run out of gas.”

Bubble, bubble, pop. Sing “All the fish are swimming in the water” (click here for video and lyrics)  When you’re singing about fish swimming, move your child around in the water, when you sing about ducks paddling, paddle your hands, then frogs jump and children splash. When you get to the part about “bubble, bubble splash”, raise your child in the air as you sing bubble… then splash down on the word splash.

Trot, Trot: Sing Trot Trot to Boston, bouncing your child on the trotting part, and lifting up and splashing down on “watch out baby or you might fall IN.”

Practice blowing bubbles in the water. Bring something that floats (rubber duck, ball, etc.), throw it, chase it, catch it floating in the water and throw it again. Bring a plastic cup or watering can in the pool with you, scoop and pour.

Why swim?

Well, first and foremost, water safety is an essential skill to teach your child! We can’t count on swim lessons to “drown proof” a child, but certainly the more familiar they are with water, the better!

Second, research shows the following benefits for swimming for kids: swimmers outperform non-swimmers in balance, movement, grasping skills, higher IQ’s, strengthened all their muscles, were more self-confident, etc.

Finally, its fun. Most kids love playing in the water! It’s also fun and engaging for the parent – at a playground I may sit on the sidelines and check out Facebook on my phone, but at the pool, I have to be fully aware of and involved with my child – it’s good for me to give him my full focus. And, my kids always sleep better at naptimes and at night on days when they were in the pool.

Some great local pools:

North Shore Lagoon at Anderson School / McMenamin’s in Bothell. Our favorite! Salt water pool, so no chlorine irritation for eyes. The tiki-themed decor makes it feel like you’re on vacation. There is not a toddler wading pool there. Bothell residents are free. Non-residents: under 3 is free, children $6, adults $7.50. Open year-round.

Peter Kirk Pool – in downtown Kirkland. Outdoor pool, open only in the summertime. Check their schedule here. They’ve got a big pool, of course, but I love them for the wading pool – it’s shallow enough for my short 3 year old to walk in, but nice and big so plenty of kids can play. $6 per person.

Henry Moses Aquatic Center in Renton.  It’s a little more Theme Park like, with big slides and a lazy river. They say it has a toddler play area. Costs: free for under 1 year old, $8 for ages 1 – 4. Ages 5+ $16.

ParentMap lists more local pools.

Do you have a favorite local pool? Or favorite game to play in the pool with little ones?

[Note: this post is part of a series called “Cheap Dates with Toddlers” about fun, cheap activities that kids age one to five (and their parents) can enjoy. Many include recommendations that are specific to Seattle/the Eastside, but hopefully most of the core ideas apply to all parents everywhere….]