Tag Archives: babies

Books about New Babies

collage of images from the book covers of the books listed in this post

If your family will be adding a new baby, there are many ways to prepare your children for their sibling’s arrival. One effective way is through books about pregnancy, birth, and babies.

When to read

I like mixing these in with other books you’re reading to your child so they’re just part of the rotation. But don’t force them on your child. If there’s a day they only want to read the truck books or the butterfly books, that’s totally fine. We’ll have plenty of opportunities to chat about the baby without it being something that blocks your child from what they want to read about in any given moment.

What not to read

There are a lot of books about sibling rivalry and how awful it is to live with a new baby. I would not read those before the baby is born. We don’t want to set things up with the assumption that it will be bad! If it is hard for your child once the baby is there, then definitely check out those books with them, but let’s not start there.

While it can be helpful to read books that talk about some of the challenges of life with a baby, you don’t want that to be the full focus of what you read as you prepare.

What to read:

Books about Pregnancy and Birth

Waiting for Baby / Esperando Al Bebé by Rachel Fuller (2009). For ages 1 to 4. Tells of a sibling’s trip with mom to the doctor, helping prepare for the baby, and meeting the baby at the hospital.
Mama’s Belly by Kate Hosford (2018). For ages 3 to 5. A girl asks her mother questions about the pregnancy and what it will be like when baby arrives.
Hello Baby by Lizzy Rockwell (2000). For ages 4 to 7. Touches on all aspects of the baby-to-come, from prenatal development and doctor appointments to meeting baby at the hospital.
We’re Having a Homebirth!! by Kelly Mochel (2012). For ages 4 to 7. Simple illustrations and brief details about home birth.
When you were Inside Mommy by Joanna Cole (2001). For ages 5 – 8. Discusses fetal development, explaining the umbilical word, using the word uterus, etc.
Babies Don’t Eat Pizza by Danzig. Ages 5 -8. Covers prenatal development and how baby is born “through an opening between mom’s legs”. Compares what the baby can do to what they can do.

Books for Children about Babies and Siblings

My New Baby / Mi Nuevo Bebe by Rachel Fuller (2009) or My New Baby by Annie Kubler (2000). For ages 1 to 4. Tell the stories of new families. In each, the mother breastfeeds, and the father participates in all activities.

Tenemos un bebé / We Have a Baby by Cathryn Falwell (2008). For ages 2 to 4. A simple bilingual board book about loving a new baby. Multiracial family.

I’m a New Big Brother/Sister by Nora Gaydos (2010). For ages 3 to 4. A positive story about what it’s like to be a big brother or sister.

How to Welcome a New Baby by Jean Reagan (2022). For ages 3 to 6. How to prepare for and welcome a baby. Multiracial family.

I’m a Big Sister / Brother by Joanna Cole. Age 3 – 4. This story talks about what babies are capable of and what they need.

I Used to Be the Baby by Robin Ballard (2002). For ages 3 to 6. This book positively portrays sibling relationships and how a sibling can help the baby.

I like these month-by-month tips in the back of Gaydos’ books:

page from a book addressing developmental milestones that older siblings can look for

Film

There’s a Baby (DVD) by Penny Simkin (2013). For ages 3 to 8. A children’s film about a baby coming to Maia’s family. At https://pennysimkin.com.

Additional Resources

If you’re looking for more children’s books about sexuality, pregnancy, and how babies are made, check out Books for Children about Sexuality.

About the Links:

Each book includes an Amazon affiliate link to make it easy for you to learn more about each book. If you click through on this link and then purchase anything, I do receive a small referral bonus at no extra cost to you. These books may also be available at your local library. If you would like to preview the content try searching YouTube for “[title of book] read aloud” and there are videos of many of the books in this list. I do encourage you to then go on to purchase the book itself to support the books’ creators.

Note: a similar post also appears on PCNGuide, a blog about pregnancy, childbirth and the newborn written by Janelle Durham, author of this blog.

Routines and Rituals

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When working with parents of toddlers and preschoolers, I talk a lot about the benefits of daily routines. Today I want to look at the difference between the routines of everyday life and the rituals of the year.

Routines	Rituals
When: Daily or Weekly. Everyday life.	When: Holidays, Seasons, Life Events
What: Predictable, reliable, easy to learn and to do	What: Special, memorable. Specific to family / culture
How they make kids feel: Safe, competent	How they make kids feel: Special, loved
Examples: · How they wake up in the morning · How you say goodbye when you go to work or they go to school · How you reunite and share your day · Mealtimes – Do you eat together? · Bedtime Routine	Examples: · Birthdays · Holidays: Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, religious and cultural holidays · Life events: first day of school, graduation, tooth fairy, etc.
Hint from an experienced parent: Keep it short and simple!	Hint from an experienced parent: Make it special, but not too elaborate or expensive. It needs to be easy to repeat if you want it to be a tradition.
How you know a routine is working for your family: It makes everyone’s life calmer and more enjoyable. You can enjoy it too!	How you know a ritual is working for your family: It feels special, and meaningful and fun to you to. If you’re overwhelmed with stress trying to do something, think about how to simplify it to focus on what’s important to you.

When your child is young, it’s a great time to think about what you want your family rituals to be around holidays and special occasions. If there are traditions from your family of origin or group of friends that work for you, definitely keep doing them. But, if there are traditions that just exhaust or frustrate you, then having a new child in your life is a great excuse to get out of those activities!

Think about what rituals you would enjoy. What would feed special to you? What would be fun for you? What lessons do you want your child to learn about your family values from the way you celebrate holidays? When your child is one year old, test some out. When they’re two years old, repeat the ones that you liked, but drop the rest, and try something new. When they’re three or four years old, experiment some more. By the time they’re five years old, they’ll start noticing and remembering traditions, so it’s nice if you’ve found some good “keepers” by then.

When you do these rituals, reinforce their power by reminding your child that they are traditions: “Every year, you get to open one present on Christmas Eve” or “remember, last year when you were four, you found four balloons in the house – how many do you think you’ll find this year?” Tell them why you do those traditions: “I give you a book every year for your birthday because my dad gave me a book for my birthday every year” or “We always volunteer on Martin Luther King Jr. day because it’s important to work to make the world a better place.”

It’s OK if your traditions are different from their friend’s family! When your child says “How come my friend does this and we don’t” you can explain your family culture and how you make the choices that are right for you.

Learn more about daily routines here and specifically about sleep-related routines here.

Read more about birthday rituals here and more about using rituals to connect your child to his/her culture and heritage here.

Recommended Parenting Books

Passive Toys = Active Kids

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Thought for the day, from a workshop based on the principles of RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers.): the more active the toy, the more passive the child.

An active toy that does something entertains – all a child needs to do is press a button and sit back and watch passively. A passive toy that doesn’t do anything engages – a child needs to be active to enjoy it.

Or as Magda Gerber says about her recommended play objects – all passive toys: What do [they] have in common? None do anything. They will only respond when the infant activates them. In other words our active infant manipulates passive objects. In contrast, entertaining kinds of toys, such as mobiles or later on, windup toys, cause a passive infant to watch an active toy. This trains the child to expect to be amused and entertained, and sets the scene for later TV watching.

Active Toys

Active toys also include: LeapPads, stuffed animals or dolls where when you squeeze their hands they sing a song… most things with batteries.

The ultimate in active toys is a touch screen device – I-Phone, tablet, etc. I’ve written before on the benefits and downsides of screen time, but the truly amazing things about these devices is their pacifying effect. My son can do an amazing transformation from Squirmy Whiny Disturbing-the-whole-restaurant Boy to Silent Child in less time than it would take to duck into a phone booth – all I need to do is hand him my Kindle or phone. And in moments he’s thoroughly entertained by a video or app. (Here’s thoughts on how to choose well-designed age appropriate materials.)

But, I think the corollary to the statement of “the more active the toy the more passive the child” should be something like: “the more effectively a toy pacifies the child, the more actively they will protest when you try to take it away.” Silent Child turns into Wild Screaming Misery Lad when I then try to take the Kindle away, or when, god forbid, the battery dies in a public place.

I do still use active toys (including the Kindle) at times, but I also try to balance them with a lot of “passive” toys – a lot of open-ended toys that encourage exploration and engagement. And I try to give him time – plenty of uninterrupted time – to explore them.

Some fabulous open-ended materials for toddlers and preschoolers:

Magda Gerber recommends (in The Best Toys for Babies Don’t Do Anything): balls, scarves, plastic bottle, containers (cups, bowls, baskets in many sizes and shapes). Or check out Geek Dad’s list: sticks, boxes, string, cardboard tubes, and dirt. And, of course, my favorite open-ended toy: nature.

Read more about open-ended toys: Here are a couple posts from Mamas in the Making, which are about toys for the 3 – 6 month old crowd, but most of their thoughts apply through the toddler years: Our Thoughts on Open-Ended Toys and Age Appropriate Toys. Check out this video, or many of the videos on Janet Lansbury’s YouTube channel for examples of babies at play with simple open-ended items.

Have enough toys… but not too many…

It’s easy to get excited about open-ended toys. Don’t go overboard though, filling the house or classroom with stuff…

Both at home and at work, I want to be sure there aren’t too many options for kids to explore. It’s great for kids to have some choices, but too many choices are stressful and overwhelming. When faced with too many choices, instead of engaging with one, kids may run from one to the next, never settling. Or, as someone said at my in-service yesterday: “If your child spends their playtime dumping all the toys out of the bucket, that means there’s too many toys in the bucket. Put at least half of them away for now, and the child will play more with what’s left.” Often, less is more. When we give kids the chance to really engage and explore open-ended toys, it’s amazing what they can come up with.

Just for fun: Check out this blog post on Being the Cool Kids on the Block, which talks about saying yes to your kids’ play ideas (within reasonable limits) and open-ended materials.
photo credit: ianus via photopin cc
photo credit: peterme via photopin

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