After you have children, it becomes much more challenging to find couple time, but having that one-on-one connection time is so essential to keeping the love alive in a relationship. Without it, you may find that you and your partner end up in a place where you’re great housemates, co-parents, business partners, and so on, but no longer lovers. (In the physical way or the emotional way.)
Ideally, you will find a way to have a regular date night with your partner. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just a chance to be together, really listen to each other, really see the other person, and remember why you chose to spend your lives together. Celebrate being a couple! (Here are more thoughts for why that’s important: www.families.com/blog/making-time-for-your-marriage-couple-time)
But beyond date night, think about ways that even a few minutes a day can make a big difference. In an article by Carolyn Pirak (www.parentmap.com/article/make-time-for-your-partner) she recommends making a commitment to 40 minutes a day to improve your relationship: When you separate each morning, spend at least two minutes saying goodbye. When you reunite, spend 20 minutes talking about your days. Take five minutes a day to express appreciation to each other. Devote at least 8 minutes a day to showing affection. Give at least five minutes a day to sharing dreams and planning ahead.
Make a plan for special time together this week. And each day, grab some sweet little moments together.
Here’s some solutions to some couple time challenges:
No time? Here’s some “8 minute date ideas”: https://bellevuetoddlers.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/timetogether.pdf
Can’t find a babysitter? Tips for a date night at home: www.romantic-tips.com/datenight.shtml and http://familymatters.net/blog/2011/04/04/date-night-for-parents-kids/
Can’t afford a babysitter and an expensive date? Cheap date ideas: http://workingmoms.about.com/od/parenting/a/Cheapdate.htm and http://parentingfamilymoney.com/393/inexpensive-cheap-date-night-ideas-for-parents/
Please share comments on how you make date nights work as a parent!
To see all my posts on relationship skills, click here.