Category Archives: For Professionals

The Economics of Parenting Style

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I’ve written before about the four parenting styles, about other parenting labels like helicopter parents, free range, and tiger moms, and how parenting style might affect how we handle choices in our families.

Yesterday, there was an article in the NY Times called Is Education No Longer the Great Equalizer, and it quoted extensively from “The Economics of Parenting,” by Doepke, Sorrenti, and Zilibotti, that is a fascinating way to think about parenting through an economists’ lens. They say the “basic parent-child conflict is that the parent attaches a higher weight to the future utility of the child” versus the child places a higher weight on their “full enjoyment” of the moment.

They say that parenting styles “come down to whether, and how, parents interfere with the child’s choice.” The permissive parent lets the child have their way, and may go out of their way to offer a wide range of choices. The authoritative parent attempts to shape the child’s preferences, by offering choices but also educating about why they believe particular choices are the best ones for the child’s long-term well-being. The authoritarian parent offers few choices, dictating what will be done. Their emphasis is on what children do, not what they think, so there’s no need to persuade them that it’s the right option… it’s the only option.

They also state that permissive parents value either independence or imagination, authoritative parents value hard work, and authoritarian parents value obedience.

Doepke, Sorrenti, and Zillibotti then look at the interaction between the economy and parenting styles. In societies with a wide array of career opportunities and a low degree of income inequality, “the gap between the top and the bottom is small… Parents are less concerned about children’s effort, and thus there is little scope for disagreement between parents and children. Therefore, most parents adopt a permissive parenting style, namely, they keep young children happy and foster their sense of independence so that they can discover what they are good at in their adult life.” If parents believe that their child can be financially successful no matter what, it’s easy to let them pursue their talents and their joys.

In societies where there’s little social mobility, where most children will have the same profession as their parents, the parents have little incentive to be permissive and let their children discover something they’re good at (they may see talent as irrelevant in a world where there aren’t career choices available) and or to be authoritative and convince their child of anything. If the parents’ experience is that you need to do whatever work that is available to survive, they tend to be authoritarian – conveying ideas like “you just have to follow the rules – you don’t have to like it.”

In a society with a high degree of income inequality, the choices a child makes could have a big impact on their economic well-being. The parents know their children have a wide array of job opportunities and want to persuade them to choose the one that will give them the best chance of success. So, a larger share of parents are authoritative. They also tend to be highly involved, ensuring that the child is taking the best advantage of any available opportunity and learning to make “good choices” (as the parent defines them). The authors acknowledge that authoritative parenting requires more effort on the parents’ part than the other options.

The parents’ current economic status also influences parenting style. “richer parents can use monetary rewards to persuade their children to comply with their wishes. Poor parents lack the resources… and may be more likely to resort to authoritarian methods such as corporal punishment.”

Doepke, Sorrenti, and Zillibotti were discussing how this might be see on a country by country basis, but it clearly also comes into play in micro-societies of neighborhoods – for example, a neighborhood with few economic opportunities might tend toward authoritarian values.

For parent educators and others who work with families, I think these ideas add to a deeper understanding of influences on parenting style. Understanding a family’s culture and socioeconomic class, especially if it is different from our own, increases our empathy and ability to communicate.

Parent Educators, here’s a handout you can share to introduce parenting style.

Circle Time for Toddlers

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I teach a parent-child class where the toddlers are 12 – 30 months in September. Each week, we do a circle time for music and stories. I tell the parents that not only does music have many benefits for children’s learning, and not only do rhymes and songs help teach language skills, circle time is also a chance for children to begin to practice key skills for kindergarten readiness: the ability to sit still, to listen to a teacher, to notice and do what the other people around them are doing, and to stop doing something when asked. (We do the shaker song every week, “oh you shake and you shake and you shake and you stop” and I talk about how huge this is for practicing impulse control.) My secret agenda is that teaching parents things to do with their children builds connections. Plus, of course, circle time is fun!

At the beginning of the year, I make sure parents know that their children will not yet be good at sitting still and paying attention for the full circle time, but the more we practice, and the more we model that behavior for them and encourage them to try, the better they’ll get. At the beginning of the year, circle time is about 10 minutes long. By the end of the year, it’s 20 – 25 minutes.

I always go in the same order each time, just adding more pieces to each segment as we go along. That way the children learn the ritual, and are better able to participate because they can predict what will happen next.

  1. Greeting Songs – each week we do the “I roll the ball to [name] song” and one other greeting song which uses the child’s name and gives each child a moment in the spotlight.
  2. Lap Songs – when we bounce children in a rhythm, it helps to instill rhythm in them at a fundamental level. It also helps to build their vestibular system. These songs are also super fun, and get lots of giggles going.
  3. Finger Rhymes – these teach a lot of vocabulary, and also teach children to notice patterns… “after dad says ‘with a one step and a two step’, he’s going to tickle me.”
  4. “Theme Activity” – I always have some small toys, puzzle pieces, or decor items tied into the theme gathered in my red gift bag. We sing “what’s in the red bag, the red bag, the red bag…” song. The kids come running over to find out. I give each one an item to take back to their parent – they talk about it together, then we do a few rhymes or songs that are related, then they bring them back to me.
  5. Book (we start these about halfway through the year)
  6. Shakers – we do the shake and stop song, sometimes some other songs, sometimes we turn on recorded music and dance and shake to the music.
  7. Active Songs, with or without parachute. Moving around the room in rhythm to the music is great at building coordination, rhythm, and large muscle skills.

I’ve gathered the ideas for my circle time rhymes and songs from many great sources. I have lots of favorite songs (here are links to lyrics and to videos showing hand motions). I have some favorite toddler books I share.

I have a full year’s worth of circle time plans for my toddler class – it’s organized by theme, and we do each set of songs for about 4 – 6 weeks. Themes include: fall, winter, spring, farm, zoo, stars, transportation, ducks, and beach.

For my science class for 3 – 6 year olds, we do two completely different circle times each week – opening circle teaches a rhythm activity, a discussion of the day’s topic, and a non-fiction book. Closing circle teaches a song, we read a fun imaginative fiction book related to the day’s theme, and we often do a group game to reinforce the day’s learning. You can find about 35 topics worth of circle time plans at www.InventorsOfTomorrow.com.

Do you have any great tips for how to help circle time go well, any favorite songs, or favorite resources for finding more ideas?

Ages & Stages Questionnaire

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How ASQ works

The Ages & Stages Questionnaire, or ASQ, is simply one of the best tools available for developmental screenings of children from birth to age 5. It has been in development for about 40 years and tested by tens of thousands of participants.

You can purchase questionnaires, or it is now available as a free* online screening tool at https://osp.uoregon.edu/home/checkDevelopment.  A parent may complete it by themselves, or it can be done with a professional. (Parent educator, social worker, child care worker, physician…)

Completing the questionnaire

First, you choose the correct questionnaire for the child’s age: they’re in two month increments for the first two years (2 months, 4 months…. 24 months), then every 3 months (27, 30, 33, 36), then every 6 months (42, 48, 54, 60).

The parent fills out the questionnaire. It asks six questions in each of five realms of child development: communication (what child understands and what they can say), gross motor (running, climbing, throwing), fine motor (hand and finger coordination), problem solving, personal-social (self-help skills and interactions with others).

The form asks simple questions, like “If you point to a picture of a ball (kitty, cup, hat, etc.) and ask your child, ‘What is this?’ does your child correctly name at least one picture?” The parent answers the questions yes, sometimes, or not yet. They are encouraged to try things out with their child as they go through the questionnaire, so they can see what their child’s abilities are for sure.

There is an additional optional questionnaire called ASQ:SE which assesses social-emotional development, such as autonomy, compliance (ability to follow directions), adaptive functioning (sleeping, eating, toileting), self-regulation, emotional affect, interaction (ability or willingness to respond to others), social communication.

Results (and how they’re calculated)

With the online questionnaire, the parent receives a report which lists which categories their child is “on schedule” with, where they should “monitor” and if there are any categories where the child is “not on schedule.”

To give professionals a little more insight into the calculations that lead to these categorizations: The results are scored 10 points for every yes, 5 for sometimes, 0 for not yet, so a maximum of 60 points per category. On the written test, you would then tally it on a table similar to this:

tally

If the child scored as we would expect for a child of this age (on the example above, this would be a score of 40 or higher on problem-solving, shown in the white/un-shaded area of that row), then the child’s development appears to be on schedule. If they scored close to the cut-off (in the gray area, shown as 35 or 40 points on the personal-social row), that would be something to monitor. If they score below the cut-off (a unique number for each category of each questionnaire), then further assessment by a professional is recommended.

This is a screening tool, not a diagnostic tool. If all looks well for the child (all scores are in the white area or the online tool says “on schedule”) then we can be assured that they are likely well on track. If they’re in the gray area / “monitor”, then we ask more questions to figure out why. If there’s a good explanation, then the score probably is not a cause for worry, but you could recommend adding activities to build the child’s skills in those areas and re-screening in a few months. If they’re in the black area / “not on schedule” consider referrals to more resources. The Oregon website offers this helpful ASQ Review Guide to help you determine next steps.

These videos for providers offer more information about how to use the ASQ with parents.

Follow-Up

It’s most effective when this tool is used as the beginning of a conversation with parents. After completing the tool, what do they see as their child’s strengths? Do they have any concerns about their child’s development? Did the screening reduce those concerns (they discovered the child is actually on track) or increase them (child is shown as monitor or not on schedule)? What are some next steps they can do to help their child’s development?

On my post for parents about how to complete the ASQ, you can see how I talk with parents about interpreting their results – whether to worry, how to seek help, etc.

If they completed the online questionnaire, their emailed test results will include links to age appropriate learning activities and play activities.

* The screening is free for parents. Since I know the ASQ is a product that is sold, and is fairly pricey, I wanted to be sure I wasn’t violating copyright by promoting use of the online tool. The website is for the Oregon Screening project, so  I have looked for legal terms on the site to see whether they limit its use to Oregon residents or in any other way, and all I have found is “This site is open to all parents of children ages 1 month up to 72 months.”

The screening is also available free at Easter Seals: www.easterseals.com/mtffc/asq/. I prefer the Oregon screening project, because Easter Seals asks for all of the family’s contact information and will add them to their mailing list.

Fun with Toddlers: Sensory Play

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A sensory bin is a simple toddler play activity: take a plastic tub, fill it with rice (or another filler), add scoops and containers to pour into (or other tools) and a few of your child’s small toys, and let your child play. The benefits for your child are: learning to use tools, using fine motor skills, and sensory exploration. The benefits for you are that your child will play independently for quite some time while you get other things done! (Expect some clean-up time when you’re done!)

Learn all about sensory play in: The Ultimate Guide to Sensory Play.

Teaching Math Skills

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See the source image

Let’s talk about math…

When we talk about which skills kids need to succeed in school or in the work world, reading and math are always at the top of the list of “most important things to know about.”

If you ask parents what they do to teach their kids to read, they will say: we do bedtime stories every night, we go to the library, we practice reading signs, menus, and labels – they have a whole list of ideas. If you ask them what they do to teach their child math, many parents draw a blank or they protest that they don’t know how to teach math, and they’re counting on preschool and school to do that.

Can we instead think about easy ways to incorporate math into everyday interactions and play just as easily as we do reading? I(‘m not talking math drills and flash cards and pushing academics here! I’m talking about playing with numbers like we “play” with words and stories.)

Here are some opportunities and resources (click on the links to learn more):

Hands-On Activities to Teach Core Math Skills

  • Counting / Number Sense
    • You can count almost anything – how many blocks in your tower, how many goldfish crackers on your plate, how many books do we get at the library
    • You can ask: who has more? Divide objects into two piles – which is bigger?
    • Set the table – each person gets one plate, one spoon, five berries, etc.
    • Count money – it’s trickier to get the different values of different coins.
  • Representation – recognizing that the numeral 5 and the letter f-i-v-e can be used as symbols to represent how many physical objects you have
    • Play with magnetic numbers, assemble puzzles with pieces shaped like numbers, make numbers with play-dough, draw numbers in the sand
    • Do connect the dot puzzles, do physical games where they have to jump from the paper numbered one to two to three
    • Make number cards with the numeral and word written on them. When you count physical objects, have them find the card the shows the total.
  • Shapes and Spatial Relationships
    • Play with shape sorters, puzzles, nesting cups, blocks, building toys. Make crafts.
    • Talk about (and play games with) positional words: under, next to, between…
  • Measurement
    • Cook together, using a recipe.
    • Compare things: line up in order by size.
    • Measure with standard units (8 inches) and non-standard (12 paper clips long)
  • Patterns
    • Help them notice sequence: first we do X, then Y. After ____, we always _____.
    • Sort laundry and pair the socks. Separate M&M’s by color, then make a pattern.
    • Build patterns: red bead, yellow bead, red…  Clap rhythm patterns.

For lots more hands-on ideas, just search pinterest for preschool math activities! Or go to https://childcare.extension.org/young-childrens-developing-math-skills/

Sing Counting Songs and Read Counting Books

  • Math Songs. Counting songs like 5 Little Monkeys jumping on a bed, or 10 Little Indians, or 5 Little Ducks are all great teaching tools, especially if you have props. A bath-time game with 5 rubber ducks can teach one-to-one correspondence plus the concept of zero (no little ducks came back…) You can find a huge collection of math songs for all ages at www.songsforteaching.com/numberscounting.htm

Turn (almost) any conversation into a math conversation: Check out the blog http://talkingmathwithkids.com/ It has examples of math concepts into conversations with kids in an engaging way. More ideas: https://bstockus.wordpress.com/talking-math-with-kids/ and http://prek-math-te.stanford.edu/overview/math-thinking-conversations.

Bedtime Math: Every night, before or after the bedtime story, add in a math story problem.

You could make up your own. They could be based on your day (“Today at dinner, there were 8 slices of pizza. You ate two, and I ate three. How many did Dad eat?”). They could be based on the book you just read. (“The Cat in the Hat is holding a book, an umbrella and a fish bowl. How many things is that?” “How many pieces of fruit did the Very Hungry Caterpillar eat?”

Or, you can download the Bedtime Math app (it’s free!) or buy a Bedtime Math book if you prefer a screen free option. They offer a new kid-friendly story problem every day, with questions appropriate for three different levels of math skills, for kids age 3 – 9.

Sports are a fabulous way to practice math skills. For younger kids, keep the score simple – one basket equals one point. For older kids, make the scoring more challenging: “if you can sink the sock in the laundry basket from here, it’s 1 point, but if you can do it from this line, it’s 3 points.” When watching sports in person or on TV, have your child keep a written score tally.

Restaurant Games: When waiting for your food, try these games. Hide 2 – 5 sugar packets behind your menu. Lift the menu to briefly show them the items, put it back down, and ask how many they saw. Tap on the table 1 – 6 times, and have them set out that many packets. “There are four blackberry jams, two strawberries, and a marmalade – how many total?”

Board games are my favorite math skill builder. They’re so much fun that kids don’t notice their learning math. Research shows that the more board games that a kid played and the more different settings he played games in, the better his performance in four math tasks.

Let them see you using math. Point out to your child when you use math – to calculate a tip, compare the cost of two items, figure out how long it will take to drive somewhere, or to help them decide what to buy with their allowance. (For a discussion of financial literacy for kids and how to handle allowance: https://gooddayswithkids.com/2016/02/09/financial-literacy/)

What Not to Do:

  • Don’t feel like you need to get flash cards, math apps and workbooks and drill basic math facts over and over. Let math be fun at home, not a terrible bore.
  • Don’t try to push kids along faster – push them deeper – rather than moving on to the next step on the math skills checklist as fast as you can, make sure you’ve really explored each step in depth first. For example, some parents want to toddler to count to 20, so they push them fast. It takes a long time for a toddler to really truly understand the difference between one and more than one. And then to understand the difference between one and two, and more than two. Let them stay there till they really get it, and then they’ll be able to master more complicated ideas in the future. But rush this one, and everything is confusing from there on out!

My other blog, Inventors Of Tomorrow, is about teaching STEM skills to kids. I have more details there. Start with the post on developmental stages of math learning.