I often have parents ask questions like:

• can I enroll my 2.5 year old child in a preschool that’s for ages 3 and up?
• my child will turn 5 in October – should I apply for early entrance into kindergarten?
• my child is a few months younger than the requirement for the camp – can I sign them up anyway?
• my child is gifted – should they skip a grade?

It seems as if many parents believe that “the best” education is the most advanced education that they can possibly squeeze their children into.

I know that as a parent, we want what is best for our children. It may seem like starting on skills earlier will benefit them, but that is often not the case.

If we push a child up a level in classes, that means they will be the youngest child there. They may be developmentally ready in some areas, but they may be behind in others. They could end up feeling successful in some ways but perhaps also feeling like they’re always the smallest, or the slowest or least socially skilled. They may feel like no matter how hard they try, they can never quite catch up to some of their peers.

I believe it is almost always better to place children in an age appropriate class that still gives them room to grow. In that setting, it is easier for them to feel successful, easier to feel like they fit in, and easier to develop in all areas into a well-rounded individual.

When we push kids faster along a certain track, they may succeed at that track, but that focus can mean they miss out on other learning opportunities. For example, a child enrolled in academic preschool may move further ahead on reading and writing, but may not have the opportunity to fully develop the social skills and independent decision making they would gain at a play-based preschool. A child whose time is all focused on moving forward in baseball may never have the opportunity to learn the physical skills they would learn in swimming or gymnastics classes, or the emotional intelligence that could be learned in a theater class.

Rather than trying to jump your child forward to the next level (the accelerated approach), try to think about what other opportunities there are to broaden their learning at their current level (the enrichment approach.)

For example, if you have a child who is doing well with language and literacy type skills, think of ways to enhance their other intelligences:

• Could they take music classes? There are a lot of benefits to learning music that go far beyond that realm.
• Could they spend more time in free play outdoors? Learn about the benefits of nature play, and about outdoor preschool.
• Could they spend more time learning social and emotional skills through pretend play? Or go to a theatre preschool? Or have more playdates to practice their social skills?
• Could they build their small motor skills and creativity in art classes?
• Could they build their large motor skills – their knowledge of how to use their body (which will help in all sports, or dance, or just moving through the world) by taking aikido classes? Or dance? Or climbing trees and clambering on rocks?
• Could you choose play-based classes (like co-op preschools) that offer a wide range of experiences and let your child choose the ones that most engage them at the moment? The most learning occurs when your child is fully engaged in an activity of their choice.

At whatever level your child is at, there is always more to learn, without needing to push them ahead to an older level.

If your child happens to be a bold, fearless child who is willing to jump into any experience, and not worried about making mistakes, they may be more able to adapt to being the young one in a group. However, if you have a more cautious child, or one who tends to be slow to warm to new experiences, or worries about making mistakes, this is a child who would definitely benefit from being older than their classmates, rather than younger. Giving them an extra year of preschool, or extra time at any level of a sport or other activity, will build their confidence so when they move up to the next level, they are truly ready.

If you have a child with strong emotion regulation skills and good impulse control who is good at listening to the teacher and following rules, they may be more successful as the youngest child in a class. If your child is still working on these things, or has a “racecar brain with bicycle brakes”, they may benefit from another year to build these skills in any class / context that interests them and then move into school.

As a teacher, I also have to say that when I have let children who are younger than the designated age into my class, it has rarely been the best fit for them, or for us. It’s not that the children “failed.” They were able to participate in class, and learn from it. But they did not learn as much as they could have learned if they had waited a year. (Also, I ended up having to do easier projects and read more basic books those years, and had to do more classroom management to keep the too-young kids focused. So all the children missed out on some learning they could have gotten if every child in the class was fully developmentally ready for the content.)

So, I would encourage most parents, in most circumstances, to trust the teachers when they tell you what age children their program is the best fit for. Your child will learn best when they are in an environment where all the aspects are age appropriate.