Recently a parent asked me: “what’s the best first pet for my child?” She had grown up in a culture where most people didn’t own pets so had never had one herself. But she had found that pets are a big part of American culture. For example, a common question at school is “what kind of pet do you have?” Or teachers give assignments to describe your pet. She didn’t want her child to miss out, but didn’t know where to start.

I wrote another post on all the factors to consider when getting a first pet for your child. Some definitely take a lot more work than others! This post is just about my recommendation for a first pet – the betta fish (also known as a Siamese fighting fish.)

They are beautiful to look at. (And watching fish in an aquarium can reduce stress, blood pressure, and hyperactivity.) Betta fish will respond to you when you come to the tank, swimming up to you (unlike most other fish). Some bettas will learn tricks, like following a prop as you move it through the water. They’re also manageable for busy parents to care for, and low cost after the original investment. Betta fish are also good classroom pets for teachers to manage.

I’ll begin with a super-quick overview of how to get started. (I’ve included Amazon affiliate links, in case they’re helpful. I do get a small commission at no cost to you if you click on these and then purchase something.) Further down in the post, there are more details, and links to learn lots more. I am not an expert in this – I’m just a mom whose kids have owned betta fish and we made it work well.

Buying Supplies

Here’s what you’ll need that you can order online or get from Amazon. (Click here for the full list in one place.) It’s best if you get this all set-up and running for about week before getting your fish. (But it may be hard for children to be that patient.)

• Aquarium with pump/filter, a heater, and a light
• Sand or gravel
• Accessories for the betta to hide in and rest on. (e.g. a cave, plants, hammock)
• Water conditioner
• Food
• thermometer, scraper (optional), water test strips

Here’s what you’ll get at your local pet store

• 1 – 2 Moss Balls
• 1 Nerite Snail

Yes, there’s a fair amount of start-up costs. That adds up to about $170. (Plus the fish will be ~$10 – 15.) But once you’ve got that, you’re almost done with costs. The food lasts for months, as does a container of water conditioner. The snail and moss balls may last as long as your fish does. (A few years.)

Choosing your Betta

Betta are beautiful, but there’s more to check for than just looks.

At the store, when you move your face or finger up toward the fish’s bowl, does it respond? Healthy betta fish will swim up to investigate when you come near. Some may flare at you aggressively. (In the picture below, you can see the flared out gills as this fighting fish tries to show you how tough he is.) Our first two betta were friendly and inquisitve when we came near. Our third was definitely a tough guy with lots of machismo.

How does the fish look? Healthy betta have bright colors and undamaged fins. Signs that a betta might not be healthy: lethargic, uneaten food in tank, dull coloring, tattered fins, white growns on body, and labored breathing.

Male betta fish have longer and fuller fins and tails.

You generally only want to buy one betta: Bettas are solitary pets – never put two males together in a tank – they will fight till one is injured or dead. Also don’t put a male and a female in the same tank – males are too aggressive. (You could keep a few female bettas together in a larger tank.)

More details:

Aquarium with pump/filter, heater, and light

You may see suggestions that you can keep a betta in a very small container (like a big margarita glass) with no pump. That is not a humane way to keep one and they won’t live long like that. (You could live in a closet, but it wouldn’t be a happy life, right?) A 2.5 – 5 gallon tank is best.

This is the tank I had – we bought it at Petco and it’s still in good condition after 5 years. However, the pump creates a strong current. The same company offers this betta tank that has a more betta friendly pump.

The tank must have a lid! Our first betta fish was a jumper. Once I came into my daughter’s room and found something on the floor that looked like a feather – I realized it was a dried out betta fish! I scooped it up and put it back in the tank in time, luckily.

Don’t fill the tank to the very top. Betta originally lived in puddle-like still water (streams and rice paddies), and need to be able to go to the water’s surface to gulp air. (Betta can get oxygen from the air as well as from water via their gills.) Because of this, they don’t need an aerator in the tank.

Heater

Keep the water heated to between 76F (24C) and 82F (27C). Betta are tropical fish, native to Thailand, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. In cooler water, they become sluggish and sickly and can’t digest food well. (If your tank doesn’t come with a heater, be sure to buy one.) Don’t put your tank right next to a furnace vent or air conditioner which could have a strong effect on the water temperature.

Filter

Filters reduce harmful bacteria while supporting healthy bacteria, and make it easier to keep the tank clean. The one that came with my tank had a very strong current, which is hard on bettas who evolved in very slow moving waters. So, I only ran it for an hour a day. If your tank didn’t come with a filter, Fish Girl recommends choosing a sponge filter. (Learn about sponge filters.)

Light

Betta like light in the daytime and dark at night. You can put them in a place where they get natural light, but not in bright direct sunshine, which can overheat their tank. They look prettier and it’s easier to see them if you have a bright aquarium light you turn on, but I found that if I left the light on for more than an hour or two a day I got a lot of algae growth I had to deal with cleaning.

Tank Set-Up Needs

Sand or gravel – you’ll need about 1.5 pounds for each gallon of water to end up with 1-2 inches of substrate.

Accessories / decor for the betta to hide in / behind: Bettas don’t like to feel exposed, so make sure you have things for them to hide in / behind. Some like to rest on things near the surface of the water, so include some of those in your decor. Choose silk plants rather than plastic, and check all accessories for sharp edges – if it would snag pantyhose, it could harm the betta’s delicate fins. File sharp edges if needed.

Water conditioner. When you set up the tank, or replenish the water, you’ll need water conditioner. It neutralizes harmful chlorine, chloramines, ammonia and heavy metals in aquarium water. The pH of the water should be between 6 and 8 and the hardness between 5 and 35 dGH. Ammonia should be 0 ppm, nitrates < 40 ppm and nitrite 0 ppm. If your tap water comes from a municipal source, you may be able to find test results online for initial set-up. You can get test strips to evaluate your water over time. Do not use distilled water. It is lacking vital minerals.

Moss balls help remove nitrogen and phosphate from the water, and reduce algae by competing with algae for nutrients. (Learn more)

A nerite snail helps to clean the tank. Watching it slowly cruise around the tank adds interest. (Our son said the fish was his pet, and the snail was the fish’s pet.) Learn more about snails. It is better to get the snail before the fish, as sometimes when you introduce a snail into a betta’s existing habitat, it views the snail as an intruder and harasses / attacks it.

Food

We used Betta Bio-Gold pellets. We fed 8 – 10 in the morning, 8 – 10 in the evening. One .7 ounce container lasted more than a year. (FWIW, one guide says to feed 2-4 pellets twice a day. We fed double that and our fish lived for over two years…)

Choose a pellet food with fish as the first ingredient, and protein >38%. Don’t use flakes – they can cause bloating. You can give frozen bloodworms or brine shrimp for treats (thaw them before feeding).

For vacations, fish can go 2 or 3 days without food. When we were gone for a week, we used Pro-Balance vacation feeders. You do need to clean the tank of the residue when you return. When we were gone two weeks, we had someone come in to put in a new feeder on day 8. Our fish didn’t do well after that two week vacation. I might try the Marina buffet blocks. Or learn more here about vacation needs.

Maintenance

For a 5 gallon tank, it’s recommended that once a week or every other week you do a 25% water change. That means removing part of the water (not all) and replacing it with new conditioned water (use water at about the same temperature as the tank). Doing a partial water change helps to reduce the ammonia in the tank, but is less of a shock to the fish than a 100% change.

Once every 3 – 6 weeks, do a full clean and 100% water change. Clean the gravel (put it in a strainer and rinse it) and the silk plants and accessories (scrub and rinse with water, no soap.) More info on cleaning the tank.

There have definitely been times that I was not an ideal pet owner, and I went a lot longer between water changes and tank cleanings than this, and the fish survived. But these are the recommendations.

Note: a fish tank is an eco-system and it can get out of balance – for example, you can have a severe overgrowth of algae where the tank is filled with green gook. The balance I describe here is what worked for us: the moss balls, the snail, only turning on the tank light for an hour or two every day. If I started to see algae growth, I used the tank light less (note, the tank was in a corner of our kitchen counter so there was plenty of sunlight and artificial light in the room, just not direct into the tank.)

Note: If you see a lot of bubbles on the surface of the water, that means your fish is happy! He’s made a bubble nest in hopes of attracting a mate.

Lifespan

Some guides say they can live up to 10 years with proper care, but most pet ownership guides say 2 – 4 years. The three bettas my family has owned each lived 2 – 3 years. I believe that when you take a living creature into your life, you are committing to care for it for its natural lifespan, so I would encourage you to only get a betta if you are open to the idea of having it for 4 years or so.

Helping Your Child Be a Successful Pet Owner

It’s great if your child can take on much of the work of pet care! It’s a great way to learn responsibility. However, you as the adult are ultimately responsible for the well-being of this living creatue you have brought into your home.

I recommend writing up a checklist to keep next to the tank. Or use a calendar. Either way they make a checkmark when they feed the fish breakfast and again when they feed it dinner. That lets you keep an eye on whether or not the fish is getting fed. Also create another system for remembering to clean the tank or rotate the water.

You can also encourage your child to find other ways to connect with the animal. Here are some pictures from my son’s “betta log book” and his initial experience with his first pet.

More info on betta care:

• https://bettafish.org/care/
• https://www.petmd.com/fish/betta-fish-care-sheet
• https://www.aquariumsource.com/betta-fish-care/
• https://fishgirlwrites.blogspot.com/2012/04/betta-fish-betta-splendens-care.html